And other ridiculous things…
Because after all, I am more me now, than when I got here
Have you ever just had one of those days where no matter what happens it just sucks? I try to be a positive person, but for the last few days that couldn’t be any further away from the truth. I couldn’t find that silver lining no matter how hard I looked. Ok, that’s the problem. I wasn’t really looking.
This all started Sunday. I spent last week at an end of the summer all of the interns present their summer research convocation in Minneapolis. It was a place where the question “where are you from?” has 3 meanings. A place where abbreviations were thrown around like footballs and small talk consisted of “where are you looking at for grad school?” I am not one to make friends easily, so for me stuff like this is basically 4 or 5 days of people not laughing at my awkward jokes. As far as jokes go, I have a lot. I am definitely one of those people that at first glance you would think takes nothing seriously. After 91 nanotech presentations, I finally understood what graphene was and was beyond ready to be home. By home I meant REAL home. That hot humid place in Oklahoma that I claim (maybe biased) to be the greatest place in the world. But alas I was back to Seattle for another week! So, there it was born my negative attitude. It couldn’t have come at a worse time!!! I have spent the last few days filling out surveys and questionnaires about my summer experience. In the right light, this summer like many things has had its shares of ups and downs, and for the most part the good has outweighed the bad. However, my negative attitude may have gotten the best of me. This morning I was extremely unpleasant. I was just being an “I hate this, I want to go home, spoiled brat.” I like to think this is out of character for me. All morning I sulked around lab preparing slides and samples. After I was finished, I went downstairs to wait for lunch. Matt had arranged a going away lunch for me and another undergrad with some of the lab group. Again, any other day this would be perfect. I really like the people in my lab group, and the French fries at the restaurant are delicious. But that negative mood!!! So, I am sitting at lunch still kind of sulking and then something just snapped. And there it was the silver lining. There were so many positive things that came out of this summer!!!! Then, I got back from lunch feeling much more joyful, and I check my email to see that my kind of but not really PI had edited my final paper. She had added to one section that the SPR results suggested that the mercapto blocking step was working efficiently (I realize this is technical jargon and I apologize, stay with me). I couldn’t help but laugh. This was a small yet important step that I hadn’t realized. I was so focused on the big picture I didn’t realize this little detail. So, goal : Focus on the positive no matter how small it may seem!
So, here is a list of positives that came from this summer!
- Meeting some WONDERFUL people
- Being able to sit outside in the middle of August in jeans and be comfortable
- Nutella ice cream
- Mercapto working efficiently
- “Holy Crap”
- A play about feminism, it’s a comedy. Obviously.
- Watching cheap and steep deals
- Fluorescence showing islanding
- FINDING SPOTS
- The plexera guys
- NESAC/Bio, all of them.
- $1.50 cheesecake
- FREE mango cheesecake!
- “ At least like nanofeelings, SEM that shit and we’ll see it”
- Meg’s MEG-SAMs
- Coolio mass
- Nkem’s sayings “fabulouso”
- Roger’s intense knowledge of all things Man V. Food
- Bible study with Lauren
- Heidi letting me complain about my day, lots of days
- Getting to know the other NNIN and GEM-SEC interns
- Tax free shopping in Portland
- “I would like a refreshing Arnold Palmer”
- Lots of laughter
- MEG SAMs working properly!!!!
- Fixing the leak in the SPR
- Learning a lot about surface analysis techniques
- Dominating the confocal microscope
- Desserts!!!
- Being a tourist
- Starting a blog
- Becoming addicted to Weeds, the show
- Becoming more confident
- Searching for the sound garden
- Celebrating the solstice
- Shoes that smell like BBQ
- BECOMING MORE OF MYSELF
There are plenty more. The good far outweighs the bad. The summer was a success!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Little Voice
I walked into work last week, and the new grad student says “Guten Morgen.” I may not speak German, but I knew this meant “good morning,” so I replied “Good morning.” Then for the second time in the last month I got asked the question, “What other language do you speak?” Nothing makes me feel more ignorant than having to reply none. I mean I took a couple years of Spanish in high school, but I didn’t learn much more than how to sing a few songs. He then went on to explain to me that he asks everyone that question because he likes to know how to say “hello” and “good morning” in multiple languages. I then told him that O si yo is “hello” in Cherokee. He looked at me like I was crazy, and asked me how I knew Cherokee. I told him I only knew a few phrases, and that I was from Oklahoma, so unsurprisingly I had some Cherokee in me. He replied, “Oh, it makes sense why you wear feathers in your hair.”
This got me thinking about how we perceive other cultures. He thought wearing feathers in your hair was a common practice whereas it is actually pretty disrespectful in certain circumstances. I wouldn’t expect him to know this, but this got me wondering what I don’t know about other cultures.
The answer? Not a whole heck of a lot! I know very little about other cultures.
So Culture Goal Number 1: Simply, learn about other cultures.
This is a very broad goal. I realize this, but I figure it can be as simple as a google search or as complex as a plane ticket.
Culture Goal Number 2: Learn another language
If for no other reason, the next time someone asks I can have an answer. I have no idea what language, but lately I have been really interested in Germany for no good reason, so maybe that would be a good choice? I enjoyed playing around with French a few months back, so maybe French?
Culture Goal Number 3: Go to more festivals, museums, plays.
I like these things, so this should be good =)
Culture Goal Number 4: Look more seriously into a summer research experience abroad.
I have been thinking I would like to do this next summer, so the early I figure out how to the better. I think I would enjoy this more than taking classes, so hopefully =)
Thanks for reading =) I truly appreciate it =)
This got me thinking about how we perceive other cultures. He thought wearing feathers in your hair was a common practice whereas it is actually pretty disrespectful in certain circumstances. I wouldn’t expect him to know this, but this got me wondering what I don’t know about other cultures.
The answer? Not a whole heck of a lot! I know very little about other cultures.
So Culture Goal Number 1: Simply, learn about other cultures.
This is a very broad goal. I realize this, but I figure it can be as simple as a google search or as complex as a plane ticket.
Culture Goal Number 2: Learn another language
If for no other reason, the next time someone asks I can have an answer. I have no idea what language, but lately I have been really interested in Germany for no good reason, so maybe that would be a good choice? I enjoyed playing around with French a few months back, so maybe French?
Culture Goal Number 3: Go to more festivals, museums, plays.
I like these things, so this should be good =)
Culture Goal Number 4: Look more seriously into a summer research experience abroad.
I have been thinking I would like to do this next summer, so the early I figure out how to the better. I think I would enjoy this more than taking classes, so hopefully =)
Thanks for reading =) I truly appreciate it =)
Monday, August 2, 2010
My Oregon Trail...
Don’t worry, I didn’t die of any disease.
My dad travels a lot for his job. He spends six weeks at a time in different cities across the US then he moves on to the next city. He is home every three weeks for a long weekend. This isn’t ideal by any means. It gets kind of difficult to plan my trips home from school around his schedule, so I don’t get to see him all that often. His current city? Portland, Oregon, the PDX if you will =) A mere 3.5 hour train ride from the emerald city (Seattle). When we realized that we would both be in the Pacific Northwest during the same time, we were quick to plan a weekend for my dad to come up to Seattle. It didn’t occur to me until last weekend that I could brave the Amtrak and make my way to Portland. So, impulsively I changed my weekend plans of sleeping/working on my final internship stuff to a quick weekend trip to see my dad.
When my alarm went off at 5:00 on Saturday morning, it was beyond too early to wake up. So, I didn’t. I am quite the advocate of the snooze button. When I finally rolled out of bed, I was in a bit of a rush to catch my bus to the train station, but I made it. As I sat on the bus, an older man came up to me and gave me a flower (this sounds a lot more creepy on here than it was, promise). All of a sudden my mood shifted from slightly frazzled to happy and excited. The more appropriate mood for the day! I mean I haven’t seen a familiar face in 7 weeks, and I had never been to Oregon! Not to mention they don’t have sales tax which is really wonderful.
I spent a wonderful weekend with my dad. Waterfalls. Doughnuts. Roses. Laughing. Much More.
Then I was sitting waiting for the train back to Seattle, and the guy sitting next to me asked me if I was heading to Seattle and what I was doing in Portland. I explained to him that I was in Seattle for the summer and my dad was in Portland for work. He asked where I was from, so I replied Oklahoma, and for the first time since I got here someone asked me what part. I told him I was from Muskogee, and it turns out he was from Ponca City. Small world. Meeting him made me feel comfortable.
Then, I made my way to my seat on the train to realize that I was sitting with a group of three people that knew each other, you know those seats that have two seats facing two seats. Ugh. This meant the whole way the three of them were going to be talking with one another and I would be in the way. They were really friendly people, but I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, so I put in my headphones and was ready to go. By the end of the train ride, they were giving me advice on my presentation. They were very friendly, and they made sure that I didn’t feel awkward. Small gestures, but they were very appreciated.
These encounters reminded me of a shirt that has a verse from Hebrews on it.
Hebrews 13:2
Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it
In each of these cases, I was the stranger not an angel, but the stranger. So, I am glad that these people entertained me. I didn’t end up being an angel, but all of these people helped me in one way or another. So, I realized that this should be a goal of mine. Entertain strangers. They could be angels and even if they aren’t angels they could be someone like me. Someone having a frazzled morning. Someone feeling homesick. Someone who happened to be the odd one out.
Also, when I was looking for the verse I wanted. I came across a website http://entertainingangels.ning.com/
It is pretty interesting. Worth a glance if you have the time.
In other news, the Seattle bound train that left before mine on Sunday killed a 16 year old boy that was standing too close on the platform. So, I ask that you keep this boy’s family in your prayers.
My dad travels a lot for his job. He spends six weeks at a time in different cities across the US then he moves on to the next city. He is home every three weeks for a long weekend. This isn’t ideal by any means. It gets kind of difficult to plan my trips home from school around his schedule, so I don’t get to see him all that often. His current city? Portland, Oregon, the PDX if you will =) A mere 3.5 hour train ride from the emerald city (Seattle). When we realized that we would both be in the Pacific Northwest during the same time, we were quick to plan a weekend for my dad to come up to Seattle. It didn’t occur to me until last weekend that I could brave the Amtrak and make my way to Portland. So, impulsively I changed my weekend plans of sleeping/working on my final internship stuff to a quick weekend trip to see my dad.
When my alarm went off at 5:00 on Saturday morning, it was beyond too early to wake up. So, I didn’t. I am quite the advocate of the snooze button. When I finally rolled out of bed, I was in a bit of a rush to catch my bus to the train station, but I made it. As I sat on the bus, an older man came up to me and gave me a flower (this sounds a lot more creepy on here than it was, promise). All of a sudden my mood shifted from slightly frazzled to happy and excited. The more appropriate mood for the day! I mean I haven’t seen a familiar face in 7 weeks, and I had never been to Oregon! Not to mention they don’t have sales tax which is really wonderful.
I spent a wonderful weekend with my dad. Waterfalls. Doughnuts. Roses. Laughing. Much More.
Then I was sitting waiting for the train back to Seattle, and the guy sitting next to me asked me if I was heading to Seattle and what I was doing in Portland. I explained to him that I was in Seattle for the summer and my dad was in Portland for work. He asked where I was from, so I replied Oklahoma, and for the first time since I got here someone asked me what part. I told him I was from Muskogee, and it turns out he was from Ponca City. Small world. Meeting him made me feel comfortable.
Then, I made my way to my seat on the train to realize that I was sitting with a group of three people that knew each other, you know those seats that have two seats facing two seats. Ugh. This meant the whole way the three of them were going to be talking with one another and I would be in the way. They were really friendly people, but I didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, so I put in my headphones and was ready to go. By the end of the train ride, they were giving me advice on my presentation. They were very friendly, and they made sure that I didn’t feel awkward. Small gestures, but they were very appreciated.
These encounters reminded me of a shirt that has a verse from Hebrews on it.
Hebrews 13:2
Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it
In each of these cases, I was the stranger not an angel, but the stranger. So, I am glad that these people entertained me. I didn’t end up being an angel, but all of these people helped me in one way or another. So, I realized that this should be a goal of mine. Entertain strangers. They could be angels and even if they aren’t angels they could be someone like me. Someone having a frazzled morning. Someone feeling homesick. Someone who happened to be the odd one out.
Also, when I was looking for the verse I wanted. I came across a website http://entertainingangels.ning.com/
It is pretty interesting. Worth a glance if you have the time.
In other news, the Seattle bound train that left before mine on Sunday killed a 16 year old boy that was standing too close on the platform. So, I ask that you keep this boy’s family in your prayers.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
You gotta have faith…
Faith: the important goals.
There are a few lines from songs that I absolutely love! One is “love in her eyes and flowers in her hair” from Led Zeppelin’s Going to California. My love is evident by the flower headband I am wearing today. Another line that I have let influence me is “I have become increasingly overwhelmed, but not discouraged” from Jack’s Mannequin’s Cell Phone.
The latter affects me in a different way. This line reminds me (simply as it says) that it is ok to be overwhelmed as long as you don’t become discouraged. I always keep this in mind. Always. Things are going to go wrong or feel like they’re too much that is certain, but you can’t let that stop you. Now here is where knowing and doing diverge just a little bit. Yesterday, I didn’t have a lot of actual lab work to do, so I began to work on my final presentation and paper. This was overwhelming for many reasons ridiculous limits and my lack of results to name a couple. So, I was overwhelmed not discouraged. I know that this stuff will find a way to work itself out. Then, I got this frustrating email, and there was the discouragement. In the right context, nothing was frustrating about this email, but in my overwhelmed mindset this was too much. So, I left work early, and went home to sleep. Sleep is my cure! I very rarely get really stressed, but when I do, a nap is what I need. So, I went home and slept for about 30 minutes, and I woke up to an encouraging email, fixed dinner, online shopped and all was right with the world.
In hindsight, I broke my number one faith goal.
Faith Goal Number 1: Always be in communion with Christ.
The first week I was here I found the nearest Catholic Church, and I have gone every Sunday since. I have really enjoyed going to mass here, each week the homily is fantastic. It is always good to hear a different perspective. A few weeks ago, the gospel reading was the story of Mary and Martha. I heard what I believe to be a good interpretation of the story. So, here it goes.
Lk 10:38-42
Jesus entered a village
where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him.
She had a sister named Mary
who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak.
Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said,
"Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me."
The Lord said to her in reply,
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing.
Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her."
This is one of those stories that makes you be like “Wait! Didn’t you say..” Martha was serving our Lord. Service is good! How did Mary chose the better part? Shouldn’t she help her sister? We are called to live the word by serving Jesus as Martha was doing. Before she stopped. By asking Jesus to tell Mary to work, she was taking herself out of communion with Christ. She had stopped serving Christ, and she had begun serving herself. Mary who was still listening to the word was still in communion with Christ. So, that is how she chose the better part. When I heard this, I made the goal to always be in communion with Christ.
So, for me. Yesterday, when I let things get me anxious and worried to the point I stopped doing them, I was for sure being a Martha. Goal not met. So, I must work on that.
Faith Goal Number 2: Daily mass readings.
I am getting better at this, but that isn’t saying very much! I had started just reading books randomly, but I think this will be a more organized way of going about it.
Faith Goal Number 3: Mass every week.
Faith Goal Number 4: Confession once a month.
I really enjoy this and believe it to be important (more on this later), so this should be good!
Faith Goal Number 5: Prayer Journal.
I haven’t started this, but I should. Simple reminders.
Faith Goal Number 6: Spend more time talking about God.
Maybe start going to a bible study or at the very least talking to my friends about what I am reading. A few days ago I read a parable and didn’t really know what it was trying to say. So, it would be nice to in a sense bounce ideas and interpretations around with other people. Gain a new perspective.
There are a few lines from songs that I absolutely love! One is “love in her eyes and flowers in her hair” from Led Zeppelin’s Going to California. My love is evident by the flower headband I am wearing today. Another line that I have let influence me is “I have become increasingly overwhelmed, but not discouraged” from Jack’s Mannequin’s Cell Phone.
The latter affects me in a different way. This line reminds me (simply as it says) that it is ok to be overwhelmed as long as you don’t become discouraged. I always keep this in mind. Always. Things are going to go wrong or feel like they’re too much that is certain, but you can’t let that stop you. Now here is where knowing and doing diverge just a little bit. Yesterday, I didn’t have a lot of actual lab work to do, so I began to work on my final presentation and paper. This was overwhelming for many reasons ridiculous limits and my lack of results to name a couple. So, I was overwhelmed not discouraged. I know that this stuff will find a way to work itself out. Then, I got this frustrating email, and there was the discouragement. In the right context, nothing was frustrating about this email, but in my overwhelmed mindset this was too much. So, I left work early, and went home to sleep. Sleep is my cure! I very rarely get really stressed, but when I do, a nap is what I need. So, I went home and slept for about 30 minutes, and I woke up to an encouraging email, fixed dinner, online shopped and all was right with the world.
In hindsight, I broke my number one faith goal.
Faith Goal Number 1: Always be in communion with Christ.
The first week I was here I found the nearest Catholic Church, and I have gone every Sunday since. I have really enjoyed going to mass here, each week the homily is fantastic. It is always good to hear a different perspective. A few weeks ago, the gospel reading was the story of Mary and Martha. I heard what I believe to be a good interpretation of the story. So, here it goes.
Lk 10:38-42
Jesus entered a village
where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him.
She had a sister named Mary
who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak.
Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said,
"Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me."
The Lord said to her in reply,
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing.
Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her."
This is one of those stories that makes you be like “Wait! Didn’t you say..” Martha was serving our Lord. Service is good! How did Mary chose the better part? Shouldn’t she help her sister? We are called to live the word by serving Jesus as Martha was doing. Before she stopped. By asking Jesus to tell Mary to work, she was taking herself out of communion with Christ. She had stopped serving Christ, and she had begun serving herself. Mary who was still listening to the word was still in communion with Christ. So, that is how she chose the better part. When I heard this, I made the goal to always be in communion with Christ.
So, for me. Yesterday, when I let things get me anxious and worried to the point I stopped doing them, I was for sure being a Martha. Goal not met. So, I must work on that.
Faith Goal Number 2: Daily mass readings.
I am getting better at this, but that isn’t saying very much! I had started just reading books randomly, but I think this will be a more organized way of going about it.
Faith Goal Number 3: Mass every week.
Faith Goal Number 4: Confession once a month.
I really enjoy this and believe it to be important (more on this later), so this should be good!
Faith Goal Number 5: Prayer Journal.
I haven’t started this, but I should. Simple reminders.
Faith Goal Number 6: Spend more time talking about God.
Maybe start going to a bible study or at the very least talking to my friends about what I am reading. A few days ago I read a parable and didn’t really know what it was trying to say. So, it would be nice to in a sense bounce ideas and interpretations around with other people. Gain a new perspective.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Shout out loud...
Miss Independent? Me? Hardly.
But when I opened the pages of the Seattle Weekly to a picture of Amos Lee a few weeks back, I was determined to fake it. I asked my roommates if they happened to be Amos Lee fans and unfortunately they weren’t. I realize $25 is too much to ask someone to pay to go to a concert they could care less about. Conundrum! I didn’t want to miss this concert, I mean its AMOS LEE, but go to a concert by myself??? That takes a great deal of confidence. A confidence that I am not sure I have. Actually, I am pretty sure I don’t have.
Despite all of this doubt I decided that I would go to the concert. When I say concert, I really mean festival. Greennote, an acoustic music festival that raises money for sustainable efforts. I didn’t pre-order my ticket, so I figured it would probably be a good idea to get there when they opened up the gates. So, I did. When the clock hit 4:30, I was settling down on the grass in front of the stage. I was super jazzed for about the first hour, and then slowly but surely I began to notice what was going on around me. I was sitting in the middle of dozens of people on blankets enjoying the dinner they had brought to the show. I felt like I was crashing someone’s picnic. Not really someone more like lots of someones. I felt crazy lonely. The first few came and went, and I began to relax and enjoy the beautiful day that was happening around me. Beyond Beautiful. The sky was completely clear the temperature was in the lower 80’s (humidity? No, they don’t know what that means here) and the stage was at the feet of Seattle’s most iconic piece of architecture, the Space Needle. As the minutes passed, the park became more crowded, and I began to think the clock would never hit 8:20. As the park became more crowded, I became more boxed in. I could have reached out and touched 4 different groups of people. Groups of people laughing and having a good time, so that lonely feeling? Yeah, it was back in full force.
Then, it finally happened. Amos Lee hit the stage. EPIC. It was an acoustic set ( 1.5 hours long, yeah be jealous), so the vocals were exaggerated. By the middle of the first song, I was in love. I have always loved his music, but now I was completely infatuated with him. Just thinking about his voice makes me blush. Every picture I have ever seen of him doesn’t do him any justice at all. So, I guess what I am trying to say is I am beyond glad I went.
Being in a city with only a few friends has forced me to be more independent. I have eaten at a restaurant by myself, I have gone shopping by myself, I have gone to museums by myself, and now I can say I have gone to a concert by myself. And I survived =) lol. Ok that is being dramatic. I wouldn’t consider myself a person that is completely dependent on others. I do plenty of things by myself, but I always have the comfort of knowing that if I was to call someone and be like,” hey, we are going to do this,” that they would come along. Here it is different, and I am beginning to realize this is a good thing. I like to believe that every new experience, every wrong bus, every new person is making me more of who I am suppose to be, and THAT is what it is all about =))))
So, yeah. Goals.
Random Goal Number 1: Become more confident.
So, next time I am in a random city, and there is a chance to see an awesome concert. I won’t have any doubts.
Random Goal Number 2: Marry Amos Lee
A girl can dream!!!
But when I opened the pages of the Seattle Weekly to a picture of Amos Lee a few weeks back, I was determined to fake it. I asked my roommates if they happened to be Amos Lee fans and unfortunately they weren’t. I realize $25 is too much to ask someone to pay to go to a concert they could care less about. Conundrum! I didn’t want to miss this concert, I mean its AMOS LEE, but go to a concert by myself??? That takes a great deal of confidence. A confidence that I am not sure I have. Actually, I am pretty sure I don’t have.
Despite all of this doubt I decided that I would go to the concert. When I say concert, I really mean festival. Greennote, an acoustic music festival that raises money for sustainable efforts. I didn’t pre-order my ticket, so I figured it would probably be a good idea to get there when they opened up the gates. So, I did. When the clock hit 4:30, I was settling down on the grass in front of the stage. I was super jazzed for about the first hour, and then slowly but surely I began to notice what was going on around me. I was sitting in the middle of dozens of people on blankets enjoying the dinner they had brought to the show. I felt like I was crashing someone’s picnic. Not really someone more like lots of someones. I felt crazy lonely. The first few came and went, and I began to relax and enjoy the beautiful day that was happening around me. Beyond Beautiful. The sky was completely clear the temperature was in the lower 80’s (humidity? No, they don’t know what that means here) and the stage was at the feet of Seattle’s most iconic piece of architecture, the Space Needle. As the minutes passed, the park became more crowded, and I began to think the clock would never hit 8:20. As the park became more crowded, I became more boxed in. I could have reached out and touched 4 different groups of people. Groups of people laughing and having a good time, so that lonely feeling? Yeah, it was back in full force.
Then, it finally happened. Amos Lee hit the stage. EPIC. It was an acoustic set ( 1.5 hours long, yeah be jealous), so the vocals were exaggerated. By the middle of the first song, I was in love. I have always loved his music, but now I was completely infatuated with him. Just thinking about his voice makes me blush. Every picture I have ever seen of him doesn’t do him any justice at all. So, I guess what I am trying to say is I am beyond glad I went.
Being in a city with only a few friends has forced me to be more independent. I have eaten at a restaurant by myself, I have gone shopping by myself, I have gone to museums by myself, and now I can say I have gone to a concert by myself. And I survived =) lol. Ok that is being dramatic. I wouldn’t consider myself a person that is completely dependent on others. I do plenty of things by myself, but I always have the comfort of knowing that if I was to call someone and be like,” hey, we are going to do this,” that they would come along. Here it is different, and I am beginning to realize this is a good thing. I like to believe that every new experience, every wrong bus, every new person is making me more of who I am suppose to be, and THAT is what it is all about =))))
So, yeah. Goals.
Random Goal Number 1: Become more confident.
So, next time I am in a random city, and there is a chance to see an awesome concert. I won’t have any doubts.
Random Goal Number 2: Marry Amos Lee
A girl can dream!!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
The brain, the brain, the center of the chain….
So, today my mind was blown! So, I am going to talk about “mind goals.”
I am all about the journey so I figure I’ll take a minute to explain how I got to be here in this moment.
Let’s start last Christmas break. I had decided this would be a good time to do all of the application essays and decide which summer research programs I would apply for. I was 100% correct! This would be the perfect time to do it…no classes, no test. Perfect! To give myself some credit, I did finish one application and make a list of places to apply, but as you could probably guess there were plenty of better things to do than try to explain to someone why I deserve to be accepted into this program. Back to that one application. As I was browsing through the list of programs, I came across the national nanotechnology infrastructure network’s program (NNIN…yikes, I know). What did I know about nanotechnology? Next to nothing. What did I know about the program? That they sent your application to 5 schools. I might not be a nanotechnologist, but I like those odds. So, as I sat with Katie watching every episode of season 1 true blood, I wrote the cheesiest essay of my life!!! It’s actually embarrassing. The application asked to rank your top 5 locations out of 14. There were the top 10 schools, the UT-Austin’s, the University of Minnesota’s, Colorado’s. There were the impressive names Harvard, Cornell (ever heard of it???), and Georgia Tech. So, I figured I would have a better chance if I picked from the other schools. California for the summer? Sound perfect! Arizona? Katie would visit! Seattle???
Seattle. Birthplace of grunge( and lots of better music), a place where you could be sleepless and very well caffeinated (Thanks starbucks). A place where you give hearts and get pens (yes that is a Say Anything reference). And as any Twilight fan could tell you, home to an army of newborn vampires. So, there was born my number one choice University of Washington, Seattle.
Fast forward a few months. I was on my way home from an AiChe fieldtrip. I compulsively check my email (remember technologically dependent), so I was quick to read an email about the NNIN REU program. This email explained how they had 750 applicants and 75 spots, so don’t feel bad if you don’t get in, let you know next week. Yikes. Within the hour Mandy got a call from TC basically telling her that we both got accepted into the LSU summer program. Awesome! Any disappointment I had about NNIN was more than overshadowed by spending time in the bayou with the rooms/best friend. So, I was officially excited. I planned my whole summer around this program. Then, a week later as I was checking my email (still in bed, yes I am ridiculous) I got the email extending the offer to be a NNIN intern in Seattle. Yikes! Excitement! Then, Mandy walks in the room, and then guilt, lots of it. I knew I had to go. I also knew this made me a terrible best friend. That is more than a bit dramatic. Everything happens for a reason, and this was no exception. I truly believe we both have become more of ourselves through this summer.
So, there it was settled, and here I am. This summer has offered me a different perspective. I think to that quote on one of the walls in the fitness room at the hper that says something about knowing what you don’t want is just as important as knowing what you want. I have observed and interacted with a lot of people, enough to realize what kind of person I want to be. If this is the only thing I learn here, it will be well worth spending 10 weeks away from everyone I love.
So, I said something about my mind being blown. This came in the most unlikely of forms, an ethics discussion. Gross. My friend Roger had mentioned something about how he didn’t see any negatives to what he was doing in disease diagnostics. I totally agreed with him. Then, it was brought to my attention the risks we take every day as far as dangerous chemicals and safety procedures and nonsense. I obviously knew this, but had never thought about it in that perspective before. So, ok that’s a potential negative. Then, some debby downer said something about what if this disease diagnostics tool doesn’t work right and someone gets misdiagnosed and they die. Double Yikes! That is for sure a negative. Through the negatives being brought to my attention, I began to realize the benefits were worth the risk. The juice is worth the squeeze. I got excited about research!
Mind Goal Number 1: Be more positive about lab
I have been working in a lab back home for about 18 months now. Most of the time, I think of it as somewhat of a hassle. I HAVE to run a gel tomorrow. I HAVE to go check on my samples. This is ridiculous! I like what I do, and I for sure see the potential of it. So, I want to stop taking this opportunity for granted, and really immerse myself into my project.
Mind Goal Number 2: Keep a better lab notebook
IMPORTANT! Just do it.
Mind Goal 3: Work more efficiently
Not only in lab, but with homework as well. Work smarter, not harder type thing.
Mind Goal 4: 4.00, No exceptions
Pretty self-explanatory, bring it on Dr. Jong. (By bring it on, I mean, go easy on us) Food Chem and H.BioChem I, I am ready!!!
Mind Goal 5: Learn for Knowledge!!!!
This could be the most important. Learning for a class is good that’s for sure, but if I was learning for the sake of learning it would be better.
I am all about the journey so I figure I’ll take a minute to explain how I got to be here in this moment.
Let’s start last Christmas break. I had decided this would be a good time to do all of the application essays and decide which summer research programs I would apply for. I was 100% correct! This would be the perfect time to do it…no classes, no test. Perfect! To give myself some credit, I did finish one application and make a list of places to apply, but as you could probably guess there were plenty of better things to do than try to explain to someone why I deserve to be accepted into this program. Back to that one application. As I was browsing through the list of programs, I came across the national nanotechnology infrastructure network’s program (NNIN…yikes, I know). What did I know about nanotechnology? Next to nothing. What did I know about the program? That they sent your application to 5 schools. I might not be a nanotechnologist, but I like those odds. So, as I sat with Katie watching every episode of season 1 true blood, I wrote the cheesiest essay of my life!!! It’s actually embarrassing. The application asked to rank your top 5 locations out of 14. There were the top 10 schools, the UT-Austin’s, the University of Minnesota’s, Colorado’s. There were the impressive names Harvard, Cornell (ever heard of it???), and Georgia Tech. So, I figured I would have a better chance if I picked from the other schools. California for the summer? Sound perfect! Arizona? Katie would visit! Seattle???
Seattle. Birthplace of grunge( and lots of better music), a place where you could be sleepless and very well caffeinated (Thanks starbucks). A place where you give hearts and get pens (yes that is a Say Anything reference). And as any Twilight fan could tell you, home to an army of newborn vampires. So, there was born my number one choice University of Washington, Seattle.
Fast forward a few months. I was on my way home from an AiChe fieldtrip. I compulsively check my email (remember technologically dependent), so I was quick to read an email about the NNIN REU program. This email explained how they had 750 applicants and 75 spots, so don’t feel bad if you don’t get in, let you know next week. Yikes. Within the hour Mandy got a call from TC basically telling her that we both got accepted into the LSU summer program. Awesome! Any disappointment I had about NNIN was more than overshadowed by spending time in the bayou with the rooms/best friend. So, I was officially excited. I planned my whole summer around this program. Then, a week later as I was checking my email (still in bed, yes I am ridiculous) I got the email extending the offer to be a NNIN intern in Seattle. Yikes! Excitement! Then, Mandy walks in the room, and then guilt, lots of it. I knew I had to go. I also knew this made me a terrible best friend. That is more than a bit dramatic. Everything happens for a reason, and this was no exception. I truly believe we both have become more of ourselves through this summer.
So, there it was settled, and here I am. This summer has offered me a different perspective. I think to that quote on one of the walls in the fitness room at the hper that says something about knowing what you don’t want is just as important as knowing what you want. I have observed and interacted with a lot of people, enough to realize what kind of person I want to be. If this is the only thing I learn here, it will be well worth spending 10 weeks away from everyone I love.
So, I said something about my mind being blown. This came in the most unlikely of forms, an ethics discussion. Gross. My friend Roger had mentioned something about how he didn’t see any negatives to what he was doing in disease diagnostics. I totally agreed with him. Then, it was brought to my attention the risks we take every day as far as dangerous chemicals and safety procedures and nonsense. I obviously knew this, but had never thought about it in that perspective before. So, ok that’s a potential negative. Then, some debby downer said something about what if this disease diagnostics tool doesn’t work right and someone gets misdiagnosed and they die. Double Yikes! That is for sure a negative. Through the negatives being brought to my attention, I began to realize the benefits were worth the risk. The juice is worth the squeeze. I got excited about research!
Mind Goal Number 1: Be more positive about lab
I have been working in a lab back home for about 18 months now. Most of the time, I think of it as somewhat of a hassle. I HAVE to run a gel tomorrow. I HAVE to go check on my samples. This is ridiculous! I like what I do, and I for sure see the potential of it. So, I want to stop taking this opportunity for granted, and really immerse myself into my project.
Mind Goal Number 2: Keep a better lab notebook
IMPORTANT! Just do it.
Mind Goal 3: Work more efficiently
Not only in lab, but with homework as well. Work smarter, not harder type thing.
Mind Goal 4: 4.00, No exceptions
Pretty self-explanatory, bring it on Dr. Jong. (By bring it on, I mean, go easy on us) Food Chem and H.BioChem I, I am ready!!!
Mind Goal 5: Learn for Knowledge!!!!
This could be the most important. Learning for a class is good that’s for sure, but if I was learning for the sake of learning it would be better.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
From the Cascades to Pugent Sound Blood Bank?
Yes Katie, I had to make a reference to the popular Postal Service tune “this place is a prison” which I discovered was about living in Seattle after I had already decided to spend my summer here. But fear not, I think this place is far from a prison! If for no other reason, this city has to have the best weather of any place in the world! I couldn’t be any more excited to be missing the 115 degree heat indexes hitting Oklahoma right now.
So, I figure I will start with Service.
Service, yikes! Since I have been in Seattle, I have had a pretty decent amount of free time. Most of this time has been filled with excessive facebooking and general time wasting, but some of it has been about going and seeing as much of the city as I can. I had a day off when everyone else I knew was working, so I decided that this would be the perfect day to go and see things that I didn’t figure would interest anyone else. I was making my way from neighborhood to neighborhood, and I found myself walking by this place called recovery café. I knew this wasn’t your normal café, so I did what any technologically dependent person does I googled it. I know what you are thinking, why didn’t you just walk in? Simply put, I am ridiculous. So what is it? It is an organization that helps people on the road to recovery to land on their feet so to speak. They offer classes, go on different outings, group sessions type things, and espresso of course, this is after all Seattle. So, this was the birth of my first goal. How selfish was I? I am here spending my free time on facebook when I could be doing something to help someone else. So, like I said Service, yikes!
Service Goal Number 1: Do at least one unselfish thing a week.
So, a few days later I got off work in the early afternoon with this goal fresh on my mind I decided to give blood. I found a blood bank in downtown and filled out the appointment form online. I figured this would be one of those immediate response email situations, but I was, of course, wrong. I spent about 30 minutes refreshing my email waiting to hear back from them. Then, I made the terrible decision to lie down and read. What was I thinking??? Sure enough about 30 minutes later I received an email confirming my appointment for 45 minutes later. So there I was, all of a sudden having to shift my mindset from comfortable, relaxed reading to in a hurry to get downtown. I would be lying if I said I jumped up and headed out the door, but eventually I walked out the door with my GPS loaded and my bus pass ready. The directions I had told me to take a bus toward downtown and get off in the tunnel at University station and then walk 0.8 miles toward Pugent Sound Blood Bank. Sounds easy enough! When they said walk 0.8 miles, they really meant walk 0.8 miles uphill THE WHOLE WAY! I was opening the door about to walk in the building just in time for my appointment, and I all of a sudden remembered the time Mandy tried to give blood after running. She couldn’t because her blood pressure was too high. With all of the nurses in my life you would think I would know more about blood pressure, but I honestly have no idea how it works. So, at this moment a feeling of panic came over me. I had come all this way and they are going to send me home! I realized that my worrying couldn’t be helping the situation, so I calmed down and filled out my paperwork. Before I knew it, it was the moment of truth. The technician takes my blood pressure. She gives me a weird look, and says” uhh let’s try that again.” So, she does, sighs and says “120 over 80.” Was she telling the truth? I doubt it. Did I give blood and make it home just fine? You bet! I think this was God’s way of telling me that this goal wasn’t going to be as easy as I had planned. I am great at rationalizing excuses, and I had plenty of opportunities to do so in this case, but in order to be a true servant to others I have to set all of my excuses and selfishness aside.
Service Goal Number 2: Give blood regularly.
I don’t need it, someone else could use it, why not?
Service Goal Number 3: Service Saturday at St. Thomas
I have always wanted to get involved with this. Give up a few hours on Saturday morning to help someone else? Ok, sounds good. But here is where that rationalizing excuses comes in! SATURDAY MORNING? Yeah, that’s early.
Service Goal Number 4: Volunteer with an organization regularly.
I have to have so many hours of community service each semester. This usually means cramming them all into a few days over the break. So, I am hoping to get involved with an organization for maybe 1 or 2 hours a week.
Service Goal 5: Random act of kindness a day.
I want to try and go out of my way to do something considerate for someone else every day. I am hoping that by looking out for things to do this will eventually become second nature, and I will become a more considerate individual.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”-Mohandas Gandhi
So, I figure I will start with Service.
Service, yikes! Since I have been in Seattle, I have had a pretty decent amount of free time. Most of this time has been filled with excessive facebooking and general time wasting, but some of it has been about going and seeing as much of the city as I can. I had a day off when everyone else I knew was working, so I decided that this would be the perfect day to go and see things that I didn’t figure would interest anyone else. I was making my way from neighborhood to neighborhood, and I found myself walking by this place called recovery café. I knew this wasn’t your normal café, so I did what any technologically dependent person does I googled it. I know what you are thinking, why didn’t you just walk in? Simply put, I am ridiculous. So what is it? It is an organization that helps people on the road to recovery to land on their feet so to speak. They offer classes, go on different outings, group sessions type things, and espresso of course, this is after all Seattle. So, this was the birth of my first goal. How selfish was I? I am here spending my free time on facebook when I could be doing something to help someone else. So, like I said Service, yikes!
Service Goal Number 1: Do at least one unselfish thing a week.
So, a few days later I got off work in the early afternoon with this goal fresh on my mind I decided to give blood. I found a blood bank in downtown and filled out the appointment form online. I figured this would be one of those immediate response email situations, but I was, of course, wrong. I spent about 30 minutes refreshing my email waiting to hear back from them. Then, I made the terrible decision to lie down and read. What was I thinking??? Sure enough about 30 minutes later I received an email confirming my appointment for 45 minutes later. So there I was, all of a sudden having to shift my mindset from comfortable, relaxed reading to in a hurry to get downtown. I would be lying if I said I jumped up and headed out the door, but eventually I walked out the door with my GPS loaded and my bus pass ready. The directions I had told me to take a bus toward downtown and get off in the tunnel at University station and then walk 0.8 miles toward Pugent Sound Blood Bank. Sounds easy enough! When they said walk 0.8 miles, they really meant walk 0.8 miles uphill THE WHOLE WAY! I was opening the door about to walk in the building just in time for my appointment, and I all of a sudden remembered the time Mandy tried to give blood after running. She couldn’t because her blood pressure was too high. With all of the nurses in my life you would think I would know more about blood pressure, but I honestly have no idea how it works. So, at this moment a feeling of panic came over me. I had come all this way and they are going to send me home! I realized that my worrying couldn’t be helping the situation, so I calmed down and filled out my paperwork. Before I knew it, it was the moment of truth. The technician takes my blood pressure. She gives me a weird look, and says” uhh let’s try that again.” So, she does, sighs and says “120 over 80.” Was she telling the truth? I doubt it. Did I give blood and make it home just fine? You bet! I think this was God’s way of telling me that this goal wasn’t going to be as easy as I had planned. I am great at rationalizing excuses, and I had plenty of opportunities to do so in this case, but in order to be a true servant to others I have to set all of my excuses and selfishness aside.
Service Goal Number 2: Give blood regularly.
I don’t need it, someone else could use it, why not?
Service Goal Number 3: Service Saturday at St. Thomas
I have always wanted to get involved with this. Give up a few hours on Saturday morning to help someone else? Ok, sounds good. But here is where that rationalizing excuses comes in! SATURDAY MORNING? Yeah, that’s early.
Service Goal Number 4: Volunteer with an organization regularly.
I have to have so many hours of community service each semester. This usually means cramming them all into a few days over the break. So, I am hoping to get involved with an organization for maybe 1 or 2 hours a week.
Service Goal 5: Random act of kindness a day.
I want to try and go out of my way to do something considerate for someone else every day. I am hoping that by looking out for things to do this will eventually become second nature, and I will become a more considerate individual.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”-Mohandas Gandhi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)